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Showing posts from July, 2020

ANxIETY with a Lower Case 'x".

It's just weather, really. Looking at my emotions as objectively as possible,  I can judge them merely as constantly changing bits of energy that come and go, like moving clouds; Why become attached to the clouds?  When you ask the average person how they're doing, you know they'll respond with, "I'm good." regardless of the truth. When people asked my father how he was doing he would often respond with, "Sunny with some cloudy periods."  The old man could be incredibly astute and honest when it was easier to be banal.  I'm pre-disposed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, as well as Asperger's Syndrome. At least they told me so when I was a child. It helps to get a diagnosis for the pervasive anxiety that follows you throughout your life. It rationalizes the irrational. When I was a kid, I experienced distressing, intrusive thoughts. I still do. I once read that the difference between people who have OCD and people who don't is that peopl...

Face Panties

I quickly got tired of the word 'mask'. It's already become a four-letter word, and not because it's naughty, but because it's clinical, tiresome, too sterile; It sounds like death. It must have been during one of my daily walks that a new-fangled term came to me, and it's stuck because I love the sound of it; Face Panties. Face Panties. Face Panties. Say it with me. Let it swirl around your mind and your mouth like that first sip at a summer wine tasting. Embrace it. Get used to it. Practice its utility in public... "Are you wearing your Face Panties? No? Then you can't enter my store. " "Stay away from my children if you're aren't wearing your Face Panties!" They're easy to find. They're affordable and comfy if you're looking in the right places. You can either go to the drug store and purchase the bland paper ones that your proctologist wears, or you can embrace the New Normal in style! My first pair cost me $16 and...

COVID and Chill

You've heard all of the predictions; There's going to be a lot of COVID marriages and COVID babies, perhaps quite a few divorces too. What do you think? I'm not so sure. Hardly anyone in my generation is getting married and having babies, to begin with, so wouldn't it be poignant if the virus changed all that? The more I think about it, the more I love the idea of a disease that forces us Millenials to have sex and get married. Move over, Netflix and Chill, another boom is about to erupt!  Let me digress for a moment about this concept of Netflix and Chill. I have to admit that it took me a minute to figure out the actual meaning of this term, which Urban Dictionary defines as a"glorified booty call". Perhaps the idea was lost on me because I was pre-occupied with "Pizza and Masturbate". End of digression.  I keep reading that now more than ever is a great time to be dating. Everyone is lonely and afraid and has the cleanest hands this side of a VIP ...